Solitude Isn’t What Makes Us Lonely

Posted by Mari Anne in General | 1 comment

If you’ve ever read Runner’s World Magazine, then you’re familiar with their Rave Run articles.  They review some of the most fantastic, awe-inspiring places to run in the entire world ~ so perhaps you the reader can travel there someday and run that very same trail.

I had a rave run today just beyond my own neighborhood.  Most people wouldn’t classify my neighborhood as anything close to a rave run.  There are no majestic mountains or exotic views, but it wasn’t really the landscape I’m talking about.  For me, the run is about the companionship.

Ok, I didn’t really have a running partner today in the conventional sense.  I was running by myself.  As I was running, though, I thought about how liberating it felt to just put on my shoes & run out my front door without kids in tow & with nowhere else to be.  My runs are my time to unwind & nurture my relationship with myself.

I didn’t always enjoy my own company, though.  In my 20′s, being alone made me uncomfortable.  Back then I wouldn’t have dreamed of eating food at a table in a restaurant by myself – way too uncomfortable.

It was only about 40 degrees today so there weren’t many other runners on the paths.  I was able to look around and appreciate some of the things that Minnesota gets a bad rap for.  Yes, it’s cold and brown, but there is a certain beauty to it at the same time.  That is when I noticed that my shadow was right there beside me with every stride.  I chuckled to myself & thought ‘I’m not alone after-all.’

Is it really solitude that sometimes makes us feel lonely?

Solitude isn’t what makes us lonely.  Feeling lonely comes from a thought that we’re  not connected to ourselves & others. (and we should be)  Sometimes we can be surrounded by hundreds of friends and family at a party, but yet we still feel lonely.

It starts with the relationship you have with your own self.

Having an intimate with relationship with yourself means that you like your own company.  It means that you feel comfortable being alone with yourself.  It means that you know your basic likes & dislikes.  It means that you take time to tend your own needs & desires.  It means that you inhabit your physical body.  It means that you allow yourself to feel raw emotion.  It means that you recognize & listen when your body is tired, hungry, full, etc.

It might feel foreign and uncomfortable to pay so much attention to yourself at first, but in order to let other people get to know the kind of person you are wouldn’t it be nice to know yourself first?