How Some Of Us Learned To Sneak Food

Posted by Mari Anne in Self-Acceptance, Weight Loss | 0 comments

Some of us learned at an early age to sneak food and eat it in private. Perhaps it started with a well-intentioned family member commenting on our tendency toward chubbiness or telling us how those cookies will only make us fatter.

How the message was delivered doesn’t really matter, but our interpretation had a lasting impact. What it meant to us was that we weren’t acceptable as we were. We started wishing we were different. We secretly wished we didn’t want a third cookie – and we started asking ourselves, “What is wrong with me?”

Even as children, we didn’t really have to work very hard to connect the dots that thin equals goodness and being fat somehow translates into unworthiness, laziness & lack of self-control. Maybe we didn’t fully understand it at the time, but we were seeking love and approval from those we trusted to care for us – and from ourselves.
That’s when many of us learned to become closet eaters and start to mistrust our bodies. Sneaking food and eating it in a place where no one could see us and judge us was a coping mechanism – a way to demonstrate our control (and worthiness) in front of others yet smother our bad feelings with food in private. But, it felt shameful because we knew. We couldn’t hide it from ourselves.

As children we were programmed and heavily influenced to think, feel and react to our environment and social situations in a certain way. At times, we didn’t have a lot of choice in the matter, and we didn’t have the maturity or forethought to question any of it. We simply accepted it as reality.

The good news is that as adults, we have the intelligence and freedom to question everything – every thought, every feeling, every action or non-action we take! We’re no longer at the mercy of school teachers, relatives, neighbors, or our parents. We get to choose how we think and feel about ourselves and our body and we have the choice to ask ourselves whether we want to keep rejecting ourselves or start accepting ourselves as we are. Believe me when I tell you this: Nothing is wrong with you and you don’t need fixing.

When you make a choice to stop overeating in secret you’re making a declaration to yourself that you have nothing to be ashamed of. Self-acceptance is a powerful thing.

The intention of this article is certainly not to place blame on our parents or whoever you associate this story with in your past.  I simply want to help you become aware that things may have happened in our past to shape who we are, but as adults we have the power of choice. Freedom to keep what works in our life and change what doesn’t.  You can make the choice to not let your past define you.  Everyday, you get to wake up and say, “Today, I choose…”

 

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